47 America’s Midlife Crisis | Premium Unisex Crewneck T-shirt | Seasons Foundry

America, she’s having a crisis.

You know what they say: Life begins at 47... unless you're America. Then it’s just another meltdown in a red, white, and blue convertible.

This tee is for the chronically online, the politically exhausted, and everyone who watched the country spiral and said, “Wow. That’s so on brand.”

From culture wars to collapsing institutions, we’re not in a renaissance—we’re in a midlife crisis with nukes.

💥 Wear it like a warning sign. Or a punchline. Either works.

🌱 Eco-conscious & globally printed: Produced through local partners to reduce emissions, ship fast, and avoid billion-dollar tax dodgers.

💪 Protest-ready quality:  Combed and ring-spun cotton. Soft enough to nap in. Strong enough to scream in.

🧵 Unisex fit for all genders and all existential spirals.

🎨 DTG-printed for rich color and lasting sass—because America may fade, but your message shouldn’t.

🎨 Comes in shades of democracy on the brink.

Size guide

Care Instructions